Monday, 2 July 2012

Running and Mourning

I spent the last 30 days running 5k everyday. Well, thats a little bit of a fib -there were a few times that I did walk the 5k :) Either way, I either ran or walked 5k everyday and with the Southern Ontario heat moving in that meant early morning and late evenings.  This was a hard challenge, the daily commitment was what was so hard and knowing there were no days off until July came :) But I learned discipline; perseverance and to be grateful for moving legs even if it is at 5:45am.

I have been listening to a new album while I run; the White Flag album by Passion (White Flag - iTunes).  It is filled with awesome, encouraging songs - one particular one that stuck in my head the most while running was called "You Revive Me" - I quite often found myself praying that in the mornings - to be revived as I laced up my shoes in the dark.  The bridge of the song says:

"I'm alive, I'm alive - you breath on me, you revive me"

I found that became an anthem, and a promise - that even when my crooked back made breathing in the humidity hard, and when my tired legs couldnt maintain a 7:00min/km pace - I would sing
"I'm alive, I'm alive - you breath on me, you revive me", half convicing myself and half begging for the energy.

Today was the Canada Day Holiday - Stu and I were off work, I am done my 5k a day challenge - we spent the day enjoying the sun and mourning losses. A friend of mine lost her husband suddenly on Friday - it made my heart ache deeply as this is the 5th friend of mine to lose their husband in the last 6 years - we made a commitment to the first one (Read Tara's story from 2008 here- changed my life forever.) to pray every single day for her, for her heart to heal and for peace to come - and since than our daily prayer list has grown, and tonight to contain a new friend with a broken heart.  I cannot say that I understand the loss they have experienced; and to be honest I quite often pray I never have too. But these losses in our lives have created a gratefulness so deep for my marriage and for my life.  We are learning how fragile life can be, and how tomorrow is most definately not guaranteed. Today made me again so grateful for the life I have, realizing how quickly it can change and how God remains faithful regardless.

As I run I pray - for those in pain, for those starving both physically and emotionally. I pray that these women who had to re-learn there lives could feel God's presence and could begin at some point to experience a great healing.  As I run I think of my life, and my struggles and my frustrations and they seem so small in comparison to others. As I run I learn to listen to my body, listen to my heart and learn to be thankful for the breath in my lungs, as crooked as they may be.
As I type this I watch my husband snuggle our dog on the couch, tired from a long work week, sunburned from our adventure today - and I realize once more how blessed I am, and remind myself to not at all take for granted what I have here.

"I'm alive, I'm alive - you breath on me, you revive me"

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