Tonight was a different story; he was tired from the start - my shins hurt- both of our bowels were not working how we wanted them too :) - and at 5k when I realised we ran the whole last km with him a decent distance behind me; I realised it was time to wrap it up and call it a night - we finished 6k.
That story ties in to my afternoon at work. It was busy; I had a lot to do but I took a walk-in client. She has terminal cancer and was wanting to start to get her financial affairs in order. She wanted to make sure she knew who would be getting her money- because she knew she did not have much longer here.
This was my view last week on my 16km run:
How do all of these things come together?
I need a running attitude adjustment. big time.
I was so frustrated on my run tonight - I wanted to go faster - I wanted me shins not to hurt - I wanted the burning to go away - I was mad at myself for all the "bad" snacking I did at work today and how now I could feel it all trying to escape my stomach anyway possible - I was frustrated at Pismo for slowing my pace (seriously? how can I get frustrated at that cutie?) - I couldn't get into a smooth pace and I felt awkward which made me think I looked awkward which made me think I looked like a person trying to drag a dog down the road doing a half walk/jog/skip thing. And I was so frustrated.
That is when I realised what a running attitude adjustment I needed.
I stopped at 5.5km. To let Pismo have a drink, and to repent of my bad attitude. I thought of the client I met today; I felt convicted that I would say angry, mean things in my head during my run while this woman I met may not even be alive when I run my half marathon. I felt selfish for wanting to push my little puppy (littlecoughcough105poundscough) further than he wanted. I felt that I forgot for a moment all the little kids in Africa Stuart and I loved on for a week, how most of them didn't even have shoes and here I was in a perfectly matching Nike outfit standing on the side of the road in my safe, clean and warm neighbourhood.
And I said Sorry. I said sorry to God for the attitude I carried along the blessing of running He has given me. I could have been born in Africa, starving and with no shoes - I could be dying right now, instead of drinking a hot chocolate and typing on my blog - and I could have been born paralysed and not even been able to walk let along run 21.1km.
How dare I complain at what I have, how dare I take for granted a run of any distance or any pace.
I walked Pismo the rest of the way home - and thought of all I was so grateful for.
And tomorrow night - I will try 8k again - but leave Pismo with Stu :)
"My heart and my soul, I give you control; consume me from the inside out - let justice and praise become my embrace to love you from the inside out"